I released a new song and quit a job on the first day
My single ‘You Can Have Him’ is out now 💋
Yesterday, I released my single, “You Can Have Him” and also worked one shift as a Barista and wanted to bash my head into the espresso machine. Full story below after I tell ya about my song.
“You Can Have Him” is a pointed, ‘fuck ‘em both” pop/rock track about unknowingly being an eskimo sister. Yeah.
So, I’m baaaackkkkk, in Barbie pink nonetheless. You could say it's the end of an era, but my “resting bitch face” never fails to bring it all together. Don’t get too comfortable, this release is just a brief intermission from my classic black.
Between the pandemic, my paralyzing perfectionism (shout out to my therapist for helping me work through that…slowly) and the pace of others, it’s been 3 years since I dropped my sophomore EP, Bad Attitude.
I’m back with a vengeance with the release of my single, You Can Have Him, an undeniably catchy pop/rock tune, brashly telling the story of when I discovered her unknowing participation in a love triangle, one with the other woman being a personal acquaintance.
The song is a fresh take on the perils of dating. As a proud feminist, I wanted to let it be known that being a feminist and fighting for equality, doesn't mean you have to like everyone equally.
The thing about me? I’m an equal opportunity asshole. The song calls out both the naivety and disillusions of the other woman and the top-tier narcissism of the man.
This woman really pissed me off because she acted as if I had just blown up her world. I was 5 months in, and she was 4 weeks in. I was like, “Babe, you gotta get a grip.” I’m sitting there apologizing—immediately going into a John Tucker Must Die mentality. Meanwhile, she’s boo-hooing, taking every opportunity to brag about how much time she had been spending with him, and telling me bullshit lines he was saying to her (that she was obviously eating up). It was big “Pick Me!” energy.
I did feel bad breaking the news to her, initially, but the way she interacted with me, that feeling was short-lived. I was like, “Fuck it, it’s your funeral.” I knew she was convinced she was “different” and, unshockingly, she continued to see him. I found out about at least 2 other women I overlapped with, (so, she was too) who were 2-3 years in with him. You can guess how that all worked out for her in the end. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
*wink*
As for the guy? I obviously wish him the worst. He’s a total sociopathic robot. No personality and uses his kid as a scheduling block for his revolving door of women. He told me he was a “consultant”, but 2 dates in he couldn’t wait to show me his stupid I.C.E badge. Dude can’t even remember his lies or cover his tracks. I literally found out about the various gals from his Venmo history and Instagram. Mr. Magoo could’ve done better.
Something that hasn’t changed is my curt, cutting lyrics, such as “He didn’t leave me for you / You’re just stupid and he knew” and “The dick ain’t even that good / I had to cum by myself”. I’m never one to mince words.
Heavily inspired by Olivia O’Brien, Olivia Rodrigo, and Hayley Williams of Paramore, I’m fully leaning into my pop rock era.
You Can Have Him is out now, available wherever you stream your music.
Sing along with me with by watching my Official Lyric Video!
Ok, back to me being a barista for 9 hours.
So after a 3 week depressive episode I was going *slightly* bonkers (I think I slightly freaked out my therapist) and was like “I NEED A JOB (still relevant but alas) and I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE (also still relevant).”
Since no one wants to hire me for my brain, I was like fine, hire me for my 10-year-old barista experience from my teens and twenties.
So, I started sending out resumes and was getting interview requests same day. EGO BOOST ACTIVATED.
Overall, I went to 7 interviews, one landing me a parking ticket because homegirl putzed around on her laptop for 20 mins over our start time, but there was one spot that stood out because it was a little walk up window where I could work alone.
The manager said the owners were “very chill” and everyone that worked there was an actor or musician. Great.
Right off the bat its bad communication and lackadaisical energy. They asked if I’d be able to do a training with the coffee vendor and I said “yes”. That was supposed to be Monday the 15th but I never heard from them. That afternoon I was like “heyyyyyy…did you want to hire me or is that still being decided, just curious what the deal is” (in a more professional tone, of course).
Manager man was like “Yes, Yes, Yes, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. We’re in. Can you shadow train Wednesday?” Affirmative.
They ask me to do a SPLIT SHIFT all the fucking way up in Studio City, and I say yes. HOW FUCKING ACCOMMODATING AM I?
So, my rockstar-in-training ass wakes up at 5:30 AM and mobs to Studio City.
The gal training me is a coffee connoisseur. She’s OBSESSED. Like, having me measure out the grams of coffee for an espresso shot. And, while I appreciate her passion, it was my version of hell. I don’t even weigh myself let alone coffee grinds.
At one point she asked how long I had been a Barista. I said “about 8 years when I was in my youth”. She quickly inquired, “wait how old are you?” “31.” “WHAT!?!? I thought you were 21! What’s your secret?”
Well, my dear. For starters it begins with having no desire to weigh out coffee for an espresso shot, and I also bathe myself in sunscreen even if I’m sitting in a pitch black room. I think I also just have good genes. Look, I was fat as a kid, I deserve this, ok?
The day treds on and I’m feeling like I got ran over by a bus from being up so early in addition to the fact I’m working in a shack WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING, in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, in THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER.
The manager man texts me, asking if I can do that weirdo training this coming Monday. But see, ya girl had made songwriting plans and, quite frankly, though I could have easily rescheduled them, at this point, I was not interested in doing so.
It was then I was given an ultimatum. I’d need to take the training Monday or they’d need to bring someone else on who could jump right in (what the fuck had I just done, but ok).
And this is why you should never give someone who doesn’t give a fuck, an ultimatum. Because I will walk.
So I said “I’ll let you guys bring on someone more aligned to your needs!” and I haven’t heard back.
I’m entering an era where if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell noe. And furthermore, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s the more you don’t give a fuck, the more people want you.
The more you Noe 🌈
Thanks for being here.
Merch for You Can Have Him coming soon!
xx court